August 22, 2006

A Conversation With Oneself

Genesis 27:41-45

Esau ... said to himself, "... I will kill my brother Jacob." Genesis 27:41


Today's reading in the Bible gives us insight into Esau's conversation with himself after Jacob's deceit in stealing the blessing of their father. Esau's conversations have gone from bitterness and hatred to revenge and murder. Esau is coming up with a plan, a plot for a double funeral.

When their father dies, Esau plans to add to the days of mourning by killing his brother. He has nursed a grudge to the point where there seems to be no turning back and no opportunity for confession and forgiveness. Esau's pain is real, and he believes revenge is the only medicine that will provide a cure.

How focused are you on some pain from the past? The pain may not only still pierce your heart but also lead you to wonder if you'll ever see a day without it.

We don't know who told Rebekah about Esau's plot against Jacob. But she knows there's no way to reason with Esau. Jacob will have to run. It will be many years before brother faces brother again. Both have built the wall of separation between them.

Grudges and deceit have led to this moment when Esau speaks to himself rather than to God and his family members. Sometimes a conversation with oneself is not the best kind of conversation. It depends on what you say and how you say it.

Dear God, you know our hearts and our thoughts. You know our pain, and you know our solutions. Heal our hearts, we pray, and direct our thoughts. In Jesus' name, Amen.

About the author — Julius T. Medenblik

Rev. Jul Medenblik is a former attorney who was called to pastoral ministry and became the founding pastor of a church in New Lenox, Illinois. He is currently serving as president of Calvin Theological Seminary, Grand Rapids, Michigan. Jul and his wife, Jackie, are blessed with a son, Joshua, and a daughter, Julianne.

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