May 10, 2008

How Do You Know Who's Right for You?

James 1:5-8

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously …
James 1:5


Writer and radio host Chuck Swindoll tells of a 10-year-old girl who was asked how people decide whom to marry. She said, “No person really decides. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re going to be stuck with for the rest of your life.”

Not exactly! Though marriages are pre-arranged in some cultures, most people make their own choice. James Dobson in his book Love for a Lifetime calls it one of the most important choices we can make. Our choice of marriage partner affects our children, our grandchildren, and the surrounding Christian community.

Sometimes the choice is made carelessly. Time magazine once referred to it as “mating at random.” Today’s divorce courts are filled with people who have decided they are incompatible. On more than one occasion I’ve had someone say to me, “I should never have married him. It was a huge mistake!”

If you are dating or have already set your wedding date, ask yourself whether you are right for each other. Ask the Lord whether you can build a marriage that is a true blessing to both partners. James says that if we ask for wisdom, God gives it. Listen carefully to your parents and to Christian counselors, and use the kind of pre-marriage counseling that will help you be sure you are making the right choice.

Lord, help those who are dating and thinking about getting married to follow your guidance into marriages that truly bring honor to Christ. In his name we pray. Amen.

About the author — Arthur J. Schoonveld

Rev. Art Schoonveld is a retired minister in the Christian Reformed Church. Before retiring in 2001, he served churches in California, Illinois, and Michigan. Since his retirement he has worked part-time for the denomination and has served as an interim pastor. Art and his wife, Anita, have four children and nine grandchildren.

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